Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
