i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
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Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
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I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
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