While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
