so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i will never coherently bang her
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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