They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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