Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
