she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
