Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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