I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize