oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
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can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
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So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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