It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
