Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
