He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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