what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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