I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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