Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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