My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize