id be glad to
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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