His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
