i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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