have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
