"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
