she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
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I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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