you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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