Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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