Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
