so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
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I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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