You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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