Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize