I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
