PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch