A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry