Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?