Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.