A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dating After Heartbreak
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.