D3 body, D1 cock
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!