I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We're too hungover to prance.