The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize