she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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