I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize