How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
