do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can I color on your dick again?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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