Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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