I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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