Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
