Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
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For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.