Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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