yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.