apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?