Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn