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I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Less talking, more tequila
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Randomize
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