He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
