I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
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I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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