I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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