Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
