If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.