I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yea but for you.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
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I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
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He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.