I wish I only lived at night.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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