the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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