I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize