I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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